17 November 2011

Dating Life

I had lunch with Sha Boogie last week and all she wanted to talk about was my dating like lol. Apparently I don't talk about it enough and she felt left out.

here's the thing about my dating life, its relatively boring and repetitive. See I was using my female friends as a distraction until they all got scooped up in Choosing Season. So then I had to actually go out on real dates. At first I completely hated them. I used to love first dates and all the sudden I wasn't looking forward to them. They were boring and I wasn't engaged at all.

After a while I started enjoying dating again but I was still just going through the motions. I just wasn't excited about any of the women I was meeting. Like I knew within the first couple days of knowing them that it wasn't going anywhere. That old saying "When a man knows he knows" is true. When I meet a girl I really like I'm all over it, there is no doubt about what I want. I don't have to force myself to have conversations or talk myself into liking her because she is a good woman. Lately I have been doing a lot of talking myself into women.

My whole dating life is just distractions, something to do when I'm bored. It gets me out the house and keeps my phone filled with lewd pics. Women come and go and I don't even care. Sometimes I wait to see just how long I can BS around with a girl before she realizes I'm not interested and moves on. You know the worst part? I can actually see myself doing this for a while, its kind of a comfort zone for me. It allows me the free time to raise LMS and still have female company when I want it. I don't have loads of free time anyway so it works. I don't have anyone I'm accountable to. I get to live life fairly selfishly and not think about "Us" or keeping another person happy. With Christmas coming up I don't have to buy anything for anyone I mean this could be considered an awesome situation. So for right now I'm chilling, no marriage talk. I'm enjoying the moment.

In other news I realized I hate the whole 21 questions thing that happens when you meet people. Or maybe I just hate when this one girl asks me questions. I tend to answer them with wild silly answers because its funny to me then I realize that she is sizing me up based on the questions. I'd much rather you get to know me by being around me than judging what kind of music I listen to. I actually don't like talking about myself, You kind just have to live a little life with me and either you get it or you don't.

I don't know if I'm growing or regressing.....